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In case you haven't noticed, it's been a while since I've been on the blog.  There have been a couple of reasons for this, mainly because I've been on an emotional roller coaster since moving in with Abby's parents.  And it's not because of them.  In a word:  boys.  Or more specifically, a boy.  And he walked out about as quickly as he walked in.  It was amazing while it lasted, but awful and horrendous in the end, which made the break-up surprisingly easy to deal with (or easier than I expected at least) because he turned out to be completely immature and unfit for a serious relationship.  You don't tell a girl you love her and talk about marriage and then act surprised if she takes you at your word.  Neither do you voice major fears, concerns, and doubts about the relationship within the first month of dating (while telling her you love her) and act surprised when she has a certain amount of anxiety that's feeding off the situation you've created.  Poor guy dug a hole for himself that he just couldn't get out of without turning coward.

I have kept telling God all along that I just can't deal with another heartbreak.  And he was totally faithful in sparing me because I have largely been more frustrated and angry than sad.  I suspect that I will grieve about it at some point later when I least expect it, but when you're treated in a such a manner, you're just glad when the truth finally comes out, the confusion is over, and you can move on with your life.  I honestly pity him... and the woman he ultimately ends up with.  If he learned his lesson at all and somehow changes because of it, then I will have done my job and considered it all worthwhile.  This isn't to say that I'm not hurt.  I'm just choosing to see the bigger picture instead.

Strange how someone can seem so perfect for you in so many ways and yet be completely wrong...

... and in all of this, I have found Beethoven to be extremely therapeutic the last couple of days, particularly the development section of the first movement of my sonata.  The development is short (i.e. a completely attainable goal) with lots of swirling left hand stuff to work through... purely a matter of time before I hardly give it a second thought.  Kind of like this break-up.