I've had a post rolling around in my head for a couple of days now. Originally it started out as reasons why I love being American (and I mean that in the least cheesy way possible). But it has since turned into a two-fold argument about the arts and the state of our educational system. If part of you is groaning, stop reading now.
I will attempt to say this in a way that is meaningful but it will probably come out seeming garbled and unsupported... my apologies. I don't air my sincerest opinions lightly or often. Everyone has a rant. Here's mine: I've read several articles lately that have deeply saddened and frustrated my inner core about what will inevitably come in this country if change remains a mere thought. If you take the arts away from the people, culture will inevitably shrivel up and eventually die. Period.
On the other hand, I've realized lately how much I love being an American. Don't discount the importance of this. It has taken me most of my childhood and young adult life to appreciate the fact that I was born in this country. I spent most of college pining for the countryside of England or the cities of France and Germany, frustrated by the way we as Americans look to the rest of the world: brash, overdone, outspoken, uninformed (and apathetic to boot), entitled, and having a lack of self-control in everything we do. We have been blessed beyond belief and we have totally taken it for granted. When I went to England in the summer of 2006, I came back resolving to go back one day for good because I was convinced that my future was there and not in the States. Let's not discount the fact that I was still trying to find myself (and a stable community) and figure out how to drive this train God gave me. Personally, I was a wreck and somehow found solace and a sense of identity in a country and a people I'd grown up with from a distance via PBS, movies, and the music of R. Vaughn-Williams, whom I'd come to love at an early age. I loved the Brits. And for whatever reason, they loved me.
Eventually I graduated from Mizzou and ended up in St. Louis, ultimately declining my candidacy at Wash U in favor of gaining some experience as a pianist in the real world. I found a church I love and settled into community there, as well as with my student families. You know the story. And as I was driving to accompany at Lutheran the other day, I realized how much I have grown. I was sipping coffee as I drove, noticing the tulips, which are about to burst forth in bloom all over St. Louis, watching my sleepy city wake up on a foggy morning as I listened to the music of William Grant Still on the new classical radio station here. I drove, thinking about the sounds of this American composer -- the way he incorporated jazz and blues into the sonata form -- and how his music resonates so deeply within me... not only because it reminds me of a most beloved teacher who faithfully and lovingly introduced me to his music, but because it is my sound. His music is my music.
Do you know why it is so important that we don't teach our children based on standardized tests? Do you know why it is worthwhile to keep the arts in the schools? Does anyone realize why STEM will eventually fail us? Does anyone else realize why there are fewer and fewer artists in the mainstream with legitimate artistic ability? There is power in both knowledge and numbers, both of which seem to escape us more and more every day. We seem to passively allow those in charge to keep fixing a broken system that only continues to worsen with each modification. Children need to be reading, not just Harry Potter or The Hunger Games but the literature that records the history of us as a nation (The Great Gatsby, Catcher in the Rye, Of Mice and Men, amongst other American short stories and poems), as well as the great literature of the past. WHY on God's green earth would we exchange Shakespeare for the EPA's Recommended Levels of Insulation as required reading in our schools?? How in the world is it ok to put that into the hands of the next generation and say "This is what's important"??
"You cannot love what you do not know." The same man who used to say that to me is the same man who introduced me to the music of William Grant Still.
If you take the arts away from the people, culture will eventually
shrivel up... because the people will not have an outlet for the human
experience.
I hope someone out there is listening. I pray that someone in power will help change things: that we will start paying our teachers better (incidentally, the countries with the best educational systems have the highest pay scales for teachers... check out the Scandinavians if you don't believe me), that we will stop putting undue pressure and weight on standardized test scores, that we will stop being passive about decision-making in our educational system, that we will start supporting teachers until the administrations do, that we will cry out for the best and the brightest to be and stay in the schools with our children again. Do you know where the best and the brightest are flocking? The universities. And those who are still in the public (and even some private) schools are quickly being chewed up and spit out by systems that don't care.
I love being an American. And I hate what we are doing to our schools and our culture.
Contextual Reading:
- An article by the Huffington Post about Changes in Core Reading Standards
- A blog from the Washington Post from a teacher: "My Profession... No Longer Exists"
- Sir Ken Robinson's 2006 TED Talk "Do Schools Kill Creativity?"
Friday, April 19, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
On point: A new turn...
Spring is finally here. Seriously: finally... Hard to believe that two weeks ago, St. Louis was covered in nearly a foot of snow. And now, here we are:
And of course, there's nothing that thrills my heart more than the sight of this in the papers:
All I can say is: It's about time...
But tonight I am particularly amazed at the Lord's faithfulness. And yeah, I'm maybe gonna brag on myself for a minute. But only to show the larger picture of his complete faithfulness and provision to me. Because if you saw my story the way I do, you'd sit there and shake your head and say something to the effect of, "Wow. I mean KB, it makes absolutely no sense... and yet somehow it all fits together." To which I would reply, "Right?? Dude, I know...". But allow me to elaborate on the story at hand...
A week or two ago I got an email from a friend advertising work for a ballet accompanist at one of the ballet schools here in St. Louis. The email had gone out to several people and I called to inquire. One of my applied professors at Mizzou had accompanied for ballet classes before and had mentioned it as a work opportunity at some point during my lessons in undergrad. She had told me she could show me what to do but we'd never gotten around to it. I knew I could probably email and ask her about it. Long story short, after doing some research in addition to reading her response, I still had very little idea of what to expect and the phone conversation I'd had with the ballet mistress hadn't exactly gone very well. I'm sure she wasn't thrilled at the prospect of having to train a pianist with no experience in accompanying ballet classes. It felt like she blew me off, but I later realized that conversation was probably the result of her trying to wade through applicants.
Needless to say, I showed up for my interview tonight curious and tentative. I figured I would be doing some sight-reading and had prepared a couple of the easier Chopin Mazurkas and Waltzes, among a few other pieces to play. I figured if all else failed and I realized I really wanted the job, I could play my Etude for her and hope she'd give me the benefit of the doubt. I didn't know whether I wanted the job and part of me just wanted the experience of the interview itself. I had prayed on my way there for clarity of thought and a good attitude, even if it didn't go well.
And then I walked in and met this ballet mistress, who turned out to be quite lovely in person. She is probably one of the kindest and smartest older women I have met: she must be in her seventies, she knows her craft, and she runs a good company. I sat down at what she told me was her piano from childhood and played through one of the Mazurkas for her. It wasn't perfect but I kept going anyway and made it through to the da capo, at which point she stopped me. . .
"You are the first person that has come in here and played for me with any feeling whatsoever of any kind... ! That was good! That was a good start. You are the tenth pianist I've listened to and nobody else has played half as well as that..."
HA! Wow. It wasn't that good, I promise. But she made me feel like a million bucks.
Then she set a binder full of music in front of me and had one of her younger students come in and do some exercises while I sightread through several pieces. Tendus, plies, rond de jambs, marches. I probably sightread 8 or 10 pieces for her. And of course there's a learning curve. Dancers don't always think about time and meter the way musicians do. Part of my responsibility will be to learn what pieces, meters, and tempos to use for the various exercises, as well as the format of each class. But it went well and we had fun and of course you have to start somewhere. And although I'm only accompanying for the intermediate classes this summer, I'm excited for the experience and excited for something new to get the hang of. I know I will take it with me into my teaching, just as my undergrad professor did in teaching me -- because what the ballet mistress was getting at wasn't just an ability to sight-read. It was an ability to feel the larger beat and produce something musical, which is something that Dr. Knerr had always been adamant about during college, and which is important to ballet and dance in general. After the interview, the ballet mistress had me stay to watch a little bit of the advanced class, which were the high school girls. Holy cow they were good. Totally on point, well-balanced, and graceful.
When I got out to my car afterward, I couldn't help but laugh to myself. I had walked in not knowing if I even really wanted the job or not, and instead walked out with a job that nine other pianists had auditioned for. God is so faithful. Three years ago when I first moved back to St. Louis, there's no way I could've pulled off something like that. Sometimes I wonder if the only way I got my accompanying gig at Lutheran my first year back was because God Jedi-mind-tricked my director into taking me on...
I've grown a lot since then. My current teacher, Mrs. Burkhart, is a magical goddess at the piano. She is like Dr. Knerr in some ways, and yet not in others. She pulls things out of me I don't realize I'm capable of and every time I have a lesson with her, my mind is blown in one way or another. I have so much respect for her and I want to be just like her someday. And every time I nail something like I did tonight, I feel just the tiniest bit closer to being where she's at... and hopefully able to mentor other baby pianists like myself someday. Because when you think about how you're being prepared for things someday that you barely have a concept for now, it's just ridiculous the way God is so faithful to you in your calling... and in providing for you through it.
And by ridiculous I mean pretty incredible.
And yeah... I wish I was done with this period of my life -- the "wandering artist" period. I wish that the Lord would finally bring me the right person. I wish the instability of housing situations and the like would finally stabilize (how many times did Beethoven move during his 35 yrs in Vienna? like 70? Right on track...). I wish I was in the "stable artist" period of my life (... does such a thing exist?? I'd like to think that it does...). But I also know I'm being called to a path that none of my other friends or family are being called to. It's a hard and a good path. And it's on nights like tonight that it somehow makes a little more sense. And regardless of what happens, I know he'll be faithful til the end because he's been faithful thus far.
"Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end." John 13:1
And of course, there's nothing that thrills my heart more than the sight of this in the papers:
All I can say is: It's about time...
But tonight I am particularly amazed at the Lord's faithfulness. And yeah, I'm maybe gonna brag on myself for a minute. But only to show the larger picture of his complete faithfulness and provision to me. Because if you saw my story the way I do, you'd sit there and shake your head and say something to the effect of, "Wow. I mean KB, it makes absolutely no sense... and yet somehow it all fits together." To which I would reply, "Right?? Dude, I know...". But allow me to elaborate on the story at hand...
A week or two ago I got an email from a friend advertising work for a ballet accompanist at one of the ballet schools here in St. Louis. The email had gone out to several people and I called to inquire. One of my applied professors at Mizzou had accompanied for ballet classes before and had mentioned it as a work opportunity at some point during my lessons in undergrad. She had told me she could show me what to do but we'd never gotten around to it. I knew I could probably email and ask her about it. Long story short, after doing some research in addition to reading her response, I still had very little idea of what to expect and the phone conversation I'd had with the ballet mistress hadn't exactly gone very well. I'm sure she wasn't thrilled at the prospect of having to train a pianist with no experience in accompanying ballet classes. It felt like she blew me off, but I later realized that conversation was probably the result of her trying to wade through applicants.
Needless to say, I showed up for my interview tonight curious and tentative. I figured I would be doing some sight-reading and had prepared a couple of the easier Chopin Mazurkas and Waltzes, among a few other pieces to play. I figured if all else failed and I realized I really wanted the job, I could play my Etude for her and hope she'd give me the benefit of the doubt. I didn't know whether I wanted the job and part of me just wanted the experience of the interview itself. I had prayed on my way there for clarity of thought and a good attitude, even if it didn't go well.
And then I walked in and met this ballet mistress, who turned out to be quite lovely in person. She is probably one of the kindest and smartest older women I have met: she must be in her seventies, she knows her craft, and she runs a good company. I sat down at what she told me was her piano from childhood and played through one of the Mazurkas for her. It wasn't perfect but I kept going anyway and made it through to the da capo, at which point she stopped me. . .
"You are the first person that has come in here and played for me with any feeling whatsoever of any kind... ! That was good! That was a good start. You are the tenth pianist I've listened to and nobody else has played half as well as that..."
HA! Wow. It wasn't that good, I promise. But she made me feel like a million bucks.
Then she set a binder full of music in front of me and had one of her younger students come in and do some exercises while I sightread through several pieces. Tendus, plies, rond de jambs, marches. I probably sightread 8 or 10 pieces for her. And of course there's a learning curve. Dancers don't always think about time and meter the way musicians do. Part of my responsibility will be to learn what pieces, meters, and tempos to use for the various exercises, as well as the format of each class. But it went well and we had fun and of course you have to start somewhere. And although I'm only accompanying for the intermediate classes this summer, I'm excited for the experience and excited for something new to get the hang of. I know I will take it with me into my teaching, just as my undergrad professor did in teaching me -- because what the ballet mistress was getting at wasn't just an ability to sight-read. It was an ability to feel the larger beat and produce something musical, which is something that Dr. Knerr had always been adamant about during college, and which is important to ballet and dance in general. After the interview, the ballet mistress had me stay to watch a little bit of the advanced class, which were the high school girls. Holy cow they were good. Totally on point, well-balanced, and graceful.
When I got out to my car afterward, I couldn't help but laugh to myself. I had walked in not knowing if I even really wanted the job or not, and instead walked out with a job that nine other pianists had auditioned for. God is so faithful. Three years ago when I first moved back to St. Louis, there's no way I could've pulled off something like that. Sometimes I wonder if the only way I got my accompanying gig at Lutheran my first year back was because God Jedi-mind-tricked my director into taking me on...
I've grown a lot since then. My current teacher, Mrs. Burkhart, is a magical goddess at the piano. She is like Dr. Knerr in some ways, and yet not in others. She pulls things out of me I don't realize I'm capable of and every time I have a lesson with her, my mind is blown in one way or another. I have so much respect for her and I want to be just like her someday. And every time I nail something like I did tonight, I feel just the tiniest bit closer to being where she's at... and hopefully able to mentor other baby pianists like myself someday. Because when you think about how you're being prepared for things someday that you barely have a concept for now, it's just ridiculous the way God is so faithful to you in your calling... and in providing for you through it.
And by ridiculous I mean pretty incredible.
And yeah... I wish I was done with this period of my life -- the "wandering artist" period. I wish that the Lord would finally bring me the right person. I wish the instability of housing situations and the like would finally stabilize (how many times did Beethoven move during his 35 yrs in Vienna? like 70? Right on track...). I wish I was in the "stable artist" period of my life (... does such a thing exist?? I'd like to think that it does...). But I also know I'm being called to a path that none of my other friends or family are being called to. It's a hard and a good path. And it's on nights like tonight that it somehow makes a little more sense. And regardless of what happens, I know he'll be faithful til the end because he's been faithful thus far.
"Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end." John 13:1
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