And of course, there's nothing that thrills my heart more than the sight of this in the papers:
All I can say is: It's about time...
But tonight I am particularly amazed at the Lord's faithfulness. And yeah, I'm maybe gonna brag on myself for a minute. But only to show the larger picture of his complete faithfulness and provision to me. Because if you saw my story the way I do, you'd sit there and shake your head and say something to the effect of, "Wow. I mean KB, it makes absolutely no sense... and yet somehow it all fits together." To which I would reply, "Right?? Dude, I know...". But allow me to elaborate on the story at hand...
A week or two ago I got an email from a friend advertising work for a ballet accompanist at one of the ballet schools here in St. Louis. The email had gone out to several people and I called to inquire. One of my applied professors at Mizzou had accompanied for ballet classes before and had mentioned it as a work opportunity at some point during my lessons in undergrad. She had told me she could show me what to do but we'd never gotten around to it. I knew I could probably email and ask her about it. Long story short, after doing some research in addition to reading her response, I still had very little idea of what to expect and the phone conversation I'd had with the ballet mistress hadn't exactly gone very well. I'm sure she wasn't thrilled at the prospect of having to train a pianist with no experience in accompanying ballet classes. It felt like she blew me off, but I later realized that conversation was probably the result of her trying to wade through applicants.
Needless to say, I showed up for my interview tonight curious and tentative. I figured I would be doing some sight-reading and had prepared a couple of the easier Chopin Mazurkas and Waltzes, among a few other pieces to play. I figured if all else failed and I realized I really wanted the job, I could play my Etude for her and hope she'd give me the benefit of the doubt. I didn't know whether I wanted the job and part of me just wanted the experience of the interview itself. I had prayed on my way there for clarity of thought and a good attitude, even if it didn't go well.
And then I walked in and met this ballet mistress, who turned out to be quite lovely in person. She is probably one of the kindest and smartest older women I have met: she must be in her seventies, she knows her craft, and she runs a good company. I sat down at what she told me was her piano from childhood and played through one of the Mazurkas for her. It wasn't perfect but I kept going anyway and made it through to the da capo, at which point she stopped me. . .
"You are the first person that has come in here and played for me with any feeling whatsoever of any kind... ! That was good! That was a good start. You are the tenth pianist I've listened to and nobody else has played half as well as that..."
HA! Wow. It wasn't that good, I promise. But she made me feel like a million bucks.
Then she set a binder full of music in front of me and had one of her younger students come in and do some exercises while I sightread through several pieces. Tendus, plies, rond de jambs, marches. I probably sightread 8 or 10 pieces for her. And of course there's a learning curve. Dancers don't always think about time and meter the way musicians do. Part of my responsibility will be to learn what pieces, meters, and tempos to use for the various exercises, as well as the format of each class. But it went well and we had fun and of course you have to start somewhere. And although I'm only accompanying for the intermediate classes this summer, I'm excited for the experience and excited for something new to get the hang of. I know I will take it with me into my teaching, just as my undergrad professor did in teaching me -- because what the ballet mistress was getting at wasn't just an ability to sight-read. It was an ability to feel the larger beat and produce something musical, which is something that Dr. Knerr had always been adamant about during college, and which is important to ballet and dance in general. After the interview, the ballet mistress had me stay to watch a little bit of the advanced class, which were the high school girls. Holy cow they were good. Totally on point, well-balanced, and graceful.
When I got out to my car afterward, I couldn't help but laugh to myself. I had walked in not knowing if I even really wanted the job or not, and instead walked out with a job that nine other pianists had auditioned for. God is so faithful. Three years ago when I first moved back to St. Louis, there's no way I could've pulled off something like that. Sometimes I wonder if the only way I got my accompanying gig at Lutheran my first year back was because God Jedi-mind-tricked my director into taking me on...
I've grown a lot since then. My current teacher, Mrs. Burkhart, is a magical goddess at the piano. She is like Dr. Knerr in some ways, and yet not in others. She pulls things out of me I don't realize I'm capable of and every time I have a lesson with her, my mind is blown in one way or another. I have so much respect for her and I want to be just like her someday. And every time I nail something like I did tonight, I feel just the tiniest bit closer to being where she's at... and hopefully able to mentor other baby pianists like myself someday. Because when you think about how you're being prepared for things someday that you barely have a concept for now, it's just ridiculous the way God is so faithful to you in your calling... and in providing for you through it.
And by ridiculous I mean pretty incredible.
And yeah... I wish I was done with this period of my life -- the "wandering artist" period. I wish that the Lord would finally bring me the right person. I wish the instability of housing situations and the like would finally stabilize (how many times did Beethoven move during his 35 yrs in Vienna? like 70? Right on track...). I wish I was in the "stable artist" period of my life (... does such a thing exist?? I'd like to think that it does...). But I also know I'm being called to a path that none of my other friends or family are being called to. It's a hard and a good path. And it's on nights like tonight that it somehow makes a little more sense. And regardless of what happens, I know he'll be faithful til the end because he's been faithful thus far.
"Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end." John 13:1
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