the last 12 ounces

Ok I'm going to blog for real.  For like 10 mins.  And then I'm going to crawl into bed so I can be up at 5 am tomorrow.  Awesome.

But the post... no pictures, no nothing.  Just straight-up Katie...

The last 12 ounces are the hardest.

What I mean by that is this:  for the last six months or so, every day I have been drinking somewhere between 48 and 64 ounces of water.  Because last summer I dehydrated myself something awful and when I finally got in to see a doctor about it, she was dead serious about taking in plenty of water every day.  I did really well with it for the first 3 or 4 months.  But I've leveled out now in my daily water intake.  I can usually down about half a Nalgene (which holds 32 ounces... 36 if you fill it to the top rim) fairly easily.  And then I slowly take in another 8 throughout the afternoon.  By 6 or 7 pm, I'm done teaching and haven't finished off the first Nalgene.  The last 12 ounces are the hardest.  Sometimes I don't finish off the first bottle until I get home around 8 or 9 pm... or later.  And then I have to refill and try to get in another 16 before I hit the sack around 11 pm.  Sometimes I literally sit in bed at the end of the day and suck down 16-20 ounces of water just so I can fill my quota of at least 48 for the day.  And it's all because of the last 12 ounces of the first round.  I always hit a wall at that point.

And that's exactly where I'm at right now in my spring semester.  If I had to divide it out, I've gotten through the first half to 2/3 of all the hard stuff I'm trying to check off my list.  I've knocked out things like a concert, several chapels, a couple of services, and a big huge wedding that I had to play for.  And I've hit the last 12 ounces of the first round.  I have a big vocal audition coming up in two weeks that I have to play for, as well as Easter services in the next week and, well... I'm stuck.  I've hit a wall.  Tonight was the third night in a row I skipped practicing because I'm just exhausted.

So as I was standing there staring into the ice-maker of our fridge, forcing myself to finish the literal last 12 ounces of the first bottle, I realized that this is exactly what's happened to me.

And so I prayed.  In front of the fridge.  As I sucked down water.  Because I've had a horrible attitude lately.  And I'm tired and crabby.  And unmotivated.  I try not to show it too much, since it's pretty unprofessional.  But it's there and it's not very pretty right now.  And I'm not ok with it because I don't feel good when I get to that place.  And I don't get very much accomplished either.  Jesus, please help me finish strong...

It's 10 pm.  And I still have another 16 to go.  Oy...