Some of you have been asking how school is going now that I'm finishing up my third week. Has it been three weeks already? Holy cow.
School is fine, honestly. I go to class, I do my work, I teach my kids, I go to rehearsals. Bam. Of course there's the group dynamic of my music theory class that continues to grow more and more interesting by the day, but that's really nothing in the overall scheme of things. It would be great if these were all I really had to worry about. But the rest of my life just cannot seem to calm down.
Last weekend my sister got married, which was so much fun. Of course I was the Maid of Honor, the Officiant, and (via recording) the Pianist as well. There was something that felt very strangely familiar about the whole thing -- almost like when we were little girls playing wedding. I think this had to do with the fact that I had about three different jobs throughout the course of the days and weeks leading up to and in fact the day of. Officiant AND Maid of Honor. It's a role I'll never have again. It was a fun day though and I'm very happy for them.
AND JUST AS THAT EXCITEMENT BEGAN TO DIE DOWN (and I mistakenly thought that I could move on with my life as normal)...
We then received notice from our landlords that we have to move out by Monday. As in, they left a note on our door Wednesday night that they want to do renovations and are trying to make us leave (quickly and illegally) within five days AND/OR fast-talk us into a "sweet deal" so that they don't end up in a legal entanglement. We are currently in the midst of negotiations with them (which is super stressful), there's so much back and forth bullsh*t for lack of a better word, and tomorrow we meet with them to discuss some more stuff some more. I am already mega tired of discussing it. Because the truth is, none of this was ever written into the lease. I plan to go in tomorrow and repeat the same words over and over: "You legally can't make us do anything. It's not in the lease. We are open to terms, but you can't make us do anything... it's not in the lease." I literally am ready for the broken record. And it only took 24 hours to get here. You can imagine what we've been through in the course of a single day.
But I do want to just take a second to mention that I am so very thankful for all the people in my life who love and care about me who also happen to be lawyers... very good lawyers at that. We aren't at that point just yet, but I've received some great advice, and who's to say what exactly will happen if we just do nothing? I honestly can't tell. All I can say is, if they try anything without our consent, maybe I'll be able to pay for grad school.
Long story short, the chances of us moving in an extremely short time frame could be high, if the terms are right. Whether to a different apartment, or moving out temporarily while they renovate is yet to be determined, but the amount of stress that this has created (and which will continue) for the next few weeks is... well, ridiculous. I have to consciously try not to think about it.
Today I went and practiced my Schumann briefly at one point and it gave me a tremendous sense of comfort because it is so beautiful and it's not anything anyone (specifically my landlords) can take away from me. It is mine, not by lease, nor by rent, and isn't subject to the rules and regulations of a contract. It is mine. At what point is it that grad school becomes a major source of comfort? I can't tell. But that can be one of the amazing benefits of art and actually reminds me of childhood a lot, as I remember that I spent a lot of time playing the piano as a major source of emotional release. The reasons we become artists... do we choose it or does it choose us? Who can say?
Anyway, if you're reading this and it's Friday, say a prayer for us. We meet with our landlords today. Jacob keeps telling me: "they can't make you do anything." And it's true. But it's so much easier to fight for someone else than to fight for yourself.
All that to say, school is great... :)
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