muzzles

Sometimes, people just say things... and there is no filter.  And what comes out ends up being really rude, whether they realize it or not.  I'd like to think that most of the time they don't actually mean it.  But it just reminds me that without the Holy Spirit, there is no filter whatsoever.  And I mean even Christians who say ridiculous things and it makes you wonder who died and crowned them the residing expert of this and that or such and such.  What we say when we don't think is what's actually going on in our hearts.  We have to ask the Holy Spirit daily, even hourly to be Lord over the things that come out of our pie-holes.  And I am just as guilty as the woman who hurt me this morning.

This has happened to me about three times in the past two weeks... where I've been in conversation with someone, usually another woman, and some jab or judgment pours out upon me from their mouths.  I think it's God's grace to me that I'm usually stunned and puzzled in the moment and only angry afterwards... it's his way of putting a big fat muzzle over my otherwise potentially hedge-clipping trap.  I could really ruin my reputation if I wanted to, let me just tell you.  Unfortunately my family knows this all too well... and some of my girlfriends...

And every time this has happened, it makes me hope these women realize what they say afterwards.  But chances are they didn't and they won't.  And of course I forgive them but it never hurts to know that someone realized their mistake and decided that what they had said after all was actually foolish and hurtful.  But we won't get that til... well, Glory probably.  Occasionally you get the come-back apology.  But not often.

Here's the thing, though... it's a good reminder for Katie.  People can be so mean/rude/ridiculous... [insert whatever adjective you feel appropriate].  It's just not worth it to say those kinds of things, nor fret over them if they've been said to you.  Part of growing up, I suppose, is learning to deal with that kind of crap... 

But you know, if I have to take one harsh criticism a week for the rest of my life to remind me to only ever speak the words of Christ to those around me, let it be so.  All the instability in my life right now is teaching me (granted, painfully and imperfectly) one thing:  I have a security in Christ far greater than anything else on this earth.  You just can't touch this.