bold moves

Today is a packing day.  Waiting for my mom to get here this morning to help me... and when I say help, I actually mean sit in a chair nearby, reading a newspaper and quietly forcing me to get work done.  Because I am a procrastinator of the worst kind and we both know it.  Last night I called her in a moment of panic:  I look at my stuff, know it needs to get packed, and feel all the negative energy of not wanting to do it surge through my body like the Rebel Alliance.  So she is coming to hold my feet to the fire... while simultaneously holding my hand.  I know... it's ridiculous.  But we won't go there.  You do what you have to do.

I'm also seriously considering getting off facebook... at least for a while.  I've really come to realize that I use it for the wrong reasons, mostly because as a pianist, I spend the majority of my life in a cave, making facebook a primary point of contact with the outside world.  It isn't an inherently bad thing, but if left unchecked, I think it could become really unhealthy over time.  And I know it tends to become unhealthy for me at different times.  When you relate less to actual people, your ability to want to do that and to be able to do that well diminishes.  I've also come to realize that when I give up something or go without, I don't sit there wishing I had it back.  I just adjust and go on... i.e. I know how to manipulate myself back into a proper state of human relation.  And it's not just about me.  I honestly think it's high time we got away from the computer and started relating to each other properly once again.  I realize that the more I put on facebook, the less people may actually feel inclined to relate to me personally.  They don't need to ask about anything because they know everything already.  It's honestly ridiculous what social media has done to us.  If people want to call me, they can call.  If they want to email, they can email.  Or check the blog.  Or heaven forbid, write me a letter.  But this business of putting everything out there all the time for an entire public square to see and comment on... I think it only puffs up our personal sense of importance and isolates us even more than we may already feel.  I know that I will seek out the friends I truly care about more intentionally without it.

And yes, part of it is that I feel like I'm letting out too much of my own information and I want to regain control of that.  But I also think about many people whom I greatly admire and respect that aren't on facebook and have spent their entire lives without it.  And they are some of the wisest and most gracious human beings I know.

It's a bold move, but I think I'm ready for it...