dusk

I just spent roughly $150 on new music (exhales). It scares me when I do that. I feel like a small dinosaur might as well have just chewed up my debit card and spit it out again. But it's for my teaching library and you can bet your bottom dollar I bargain shopped as much as possible. It amazes me what corporations will do to get your money. In all honesty, I would like to be able to buy another $50 worth of material, but you know, I'm a student myself. And I have bills to pay. And we're in the midst of an economic crisis. So I only bought what was absolutely necessary... and I should mention that with 12 students, the bare minimum is actually a hefty chunk. But I count it as a business expense. Maybe in another month or so...

In other news, I realized today that I am officially a small business. Exciting! It also means that I'm going to have to be really organized and keep track of details now in case of an audit, which my tax adivsor (aka mi Madre) says is very slim, but still, don't mess... with the IRS.

(small voice, inside joke: Did you claim that?)

Yesterday I saw Edwina, one of my very best friends who I haven't seen in a month now since she went off to India for 3 weeks over Christmas break (!!) for a study abroad venture. That girl... she is ridiculous. And I love her for it. We sat there in the library talking for a good hour and a half, probably disturbing the 5 people who were within earshot. It was so good to just catch up with her. There's a lot to be said for familiarity with people and things. It seems within these last couple of months, there has been less and less that remains familiar. The landscape keeps changing... like at dusk when you don't notice it and then all of a sudden, everything is a mere shadow of what it used to be. Having lived through this, I can tell you: it's weird.

I also have to say that I've been thinking about my plans for next year for a week or so now and still have no permanent conclusions, only to say that I'm at peace with the idea of not going to grad school right away just as much as I'm at peace with the idea of continuing straight through. I would explain this, except that there's really no explanation: I started thinking about the possibility of just taking a year off and teaching here in Columbia, since I have 12 students now and know I could get more. I also know that I could really benefit from a year off of school and the experience of managing my own studio without the burden of classes and an upcoming recital. And let's face it: I don't want more loans just yet. So it's something I'm considering, even though in these last couple of years I never would've thought I'd want to stay in Columbia after finishing undergrad. It's a bit surreal. Everything is up in the air right now and I have no idea exactly how it will really turn out. I guess that's the beauty of it though.